It’s like putting the meaning of listeners into your own words. This skill is not that hard because all you need is to listen carefully to the words of the speaker and repeat them. It’s all about creating engagement with the listener by repeating back his words. This is the first and foremost skill of empathic listening. There are some outstanding skills that you need to practice so that you can enhance your empathic listening capabilities listed below: 1 - First Skill – Mimic Content Skills of Empathic ListeningĮmpathic listening cannot be mastered in a day. He completely ignores the situation of his son, which makes things difficult for the son to rely on the opinion of his father. The main reason for that is because the father was trying to give suggestions to his son on the basis of his experience. In that example, the father was trying to help out his son, but the communication goes the wrong way. The problem with this is, the other person didn’t have the vision to see their perception, and they start to believe that you don’t put real effort to understand them.Ĭovey, in this book, also explains an example of a father and son. They advised on behalf of their frame of reference rather than understanding the other person’s context. Most people concentrate on the autobiographical response while listening instead of the empathic response. When we listen to a person, we generally listen to one of four levels:Ĭovey wants to draw attention towards the most important fifth level, which is empathic listening because it helps to see the world from other people’s angles so that you can recognize how they feel.
It also helps to eliminate the barriers of misunderstanding and maximizes the chances of gaining more trust.Ĭommunication comprises four basic types:Īccording to Covey, a lot of training is given regarding reading, writing, and speaking to improve communication, but there is no such training for the all-important listening part. When you create the feeling of deeply understood, then there is a strong possibility to have an emotional link to them. 2 - Reinforce Our Own CharacterĬharacter strength means becoming aware of your own wishes and favorites so that you can avoid them and be on the receiving end. If you listen to people with pure aspiration, then you will be completely astonished to see how instantly they open up because they know that you are giving them complete attention. Covey addresses this issue by recommending three critical things: 1 - Develop the Pure Desire to Understand
“You can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”ĭr.
#LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO#
So, let’s talk about the first part, which is how to understand others the right way. Or, maybe we want to understand, but we lack the necessary skills required to comprehend how differently other people use to think. Generally, when we listen, we try to think about what we want to say during the entire listening process because we presume that the other person ponders the way we do. The main philosophy behind habit 5, seek first to understand them, to be understood by Stephen Covey revolves around it because it helps the decision-making process.
Listening provides the platform to understand what other people want rather than focusing only on what we want. People normally spend too much time reading and writing but don’t give much attention to listening, which is undoubtedly the key factor. In this habit, he gives the concept of empathic listening because it helps to understand the viewpoint of others effectively.Įffective communication plays a major role in the success of any organization. He discusses that people spend time reading and writing but don’t pay attention to listening, which happens to be quite important when it comes to teamwork. According to him, people usually listen with the intent to reply, not to understand, which is an inappropriate way of communication. Covey describes the significance of being understanding, then to be understood as Habit 5.
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